Sep. 3rd, 2009

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Things the GOP does to (I believe intentionally) annoy us.

- Claim they're fiscally conservative.
- Claim they're strong on defense.
- Misquote things and when they're caught, keep misquoting.
- Lie. And when they're caught, lie more.
- Turn political differences into theological wars.
- Boycott France
- Three Words: Free Speech Zones
- Ejecting/arresting people for asking questions they don't like.
- Support the Iraq war
- Parrot Rush Limbaugh
- Drive a gas guzzling V-10 pickup truck with one or more stars and bars bumper stickers
- Support Creationism
- Complain about political correctness, as if they long for the good old days when they could call women and black people whatever they damn well pleased.
- Vote for Bush/Cheney, McCain/Palin
- Insist that every publicly-placed television set they see is tuned to Fox News
- Troll websites asking why [Generic Democrat] won’t release his [Generic Official Personal Record]!?!?
- Say the words "fair and balanced" without a hint of irony.
- Name their astroturfed political campaign after a sexual act/fraternity prank
- Take Jonah Goldberg seriously
- Insist that Bill O’Reilly is the best source for news.
- Speak with an exaggerated regional accent
- Believe Bill Kristol
- Complain about the Liberal Media
- Refuse to believe the president is American despite the evidence.
- Insist that [insert policy] is a plot to kill Grandma despite a total lack of evidence.
- Insist that [insert policy] is a plot to kill soldiers despite a total lack of evidence.
- Insist that [insert policy] is actually communism/socialism/fascism/nazi-ism.
- Deny climate change.
- Claim forms of torture that people were convicted for in WWII isn't torture anymore.
- Employ the Nuremberg defense and browbeat anyone who says "Hey! That isn't allowed!"
- Fail to know what the Nuremberg defense was.
- Cut Veteran's benefits while declaring that democrats hate the troops.
- Laugh at or tell conservative jokes
- Form mindless mobs to shut down any intelligent discussion at townhalls and declare it a victory, declaring that it's the voice of the people.
- Make all GOP townhalls invite only to give the impression that america has a love affair with the GOP.
- Blather that anytime someone doesn't wear a bunny suit or a santa costume that it's an OMFG WAR ON CHRISTMAS/EASTER!!!
- Declare that Christ would support their policies of war, death penalties, bootstraps, and torture.
- Declare that anyone who went to college or lives in the northeast or west coast isn't a "real american."
- Buy-Cot Whole Foods
- Carry a gun to the mall
- Carry a gun to political rallies


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